The other one, the one called Renata, is the one who walks blind, like a pilgrim with no attachment whatsoever to any materiality. I know of her from constant weird dreams and echoes from the abyss. We don’t have many common experiences, except dreams. And I have been dreaming the same dream I dreamt repeatedly in my teenage years. Also, we do not have a proper relationship. When I am with Renata I am wandering the streets of Brasília at night crossing through the axis. The geometric concrete structures produce shadows at night, disrespecting urbanistic idiosyncrasies, taking diagonals, subverting the linear pilot plan. Once in a while I would encounter big crowds in these dreams. One time I was walking over the monumental axis, going south, and I found this big line of people waiting for something. Renata followed the line through the axis up till the point it turned west. It was a cliff. So she fell off and faced the end of the line where people were waiting for some kind of medical help, like a vaccine or treatment. This was 25 years ago. And Renata was already standing out of the line, falling off cliffs. Very annoying character. Alternatively, I would enter one of the concrete cold buildings and would find some peculiar situation happening inside it. Like this concrete shed far east in the axis in a desolated area. Inside it I found the structure of a school with the doors and handrails painted in green. Through each door there was a different situation going on with many people engaging in varied degrees of madness. I don’t know what Renata was doing there. Doesn’t she know she is still alive? Or the airport episode, with classical giant glass windows where two suns would appear at night making everybody panic. Renata, as always, narrowly survived another catastrophe managing to avoid being liquefied by the unreasonable mob and fled by foot reaching the artificial lake. I thought she would not make it.
Now, I am wandering around the axis again but I have not found any crowds yet. When I am dreaming I can only see Renata, the wiped out, eating rice and temporarily adhering to structures made of fickle cloth. The gods constantly punish her for her hubris. I watch that with amusement: it is always entertaining. Renata believes her job is to be a trance-traveler and to produce sparkling fires. Her image impulse made me a lot happier in the past. Now I will make sure to keep a safe distance from such large scale dissolution. The chaos of her unsettled experience will not make me deviate from my own imagination.
